Am I the only one who thinks there’s a conspiracy to the whole marriage plot thing?
Seriously, it’s like, Let’s get married, have a few children together whose names we’ll fuss over, adopt a dog named Pickles, and then our happy little family will finally be complete, just like Cinderella would have wanted for us, you know?
There’s just something very fishy and fairytale-like to that whole idea.
While sharing a kiss with Andy Cohen and playing Dr. Mindy Lahiri’s boy-crazed bestie on The Mindy Project rank numbers two and three on my bucket list, marriage never quite made it on my many to-do’s, unless it’s to Jesse Bradford, which in case you were wondering, was number one.
Still, despite my Debbie Downer attitude towards matrimony, there are a number of celebs who’ve survived even my expectations and are to blame for the many, many lost bets I’ve placed on their impending divorces.
Will Smith & Jada Pinkett-Smith
Married Since: 1997 (17 years)
Of course these two make the list. I mean, these two have been arm-to-arm since ’97, which is both impressive and reasonably suspicious.
I like Will as much as the next Fresh Prince fangirl, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t believe there was anything fishy about this very private partnership.
Even so, Jada is a total catch and these two are certainly not going to breakup probably until, like, never.
Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick
Married Since: 1997 (17 years)
Okay, you’re seriously going to catch on to what I’m doing here but I don’t even care. Ferris Bueller was my boyfriend. So what if there was a 30-year age difference?
When I was 8-years-old, Ferris was my BF and we went on dream dates to Coney Island and drove down to the beach and did grown-up things my prepubescent mind couldn’t really comprehend at the time but it was fine because I was with Ferris and it was his day off.
Sarahs are always so damned lucky, and Mrs. Parker is no different. Kudos to 17 years of marital sanctity, you guys!
David Beckham & Victoria Beckham
Married Since: 1999 (15 years)
I knew little to nothing about Victoria’s past as Posh Spice, but apparently her signature short hairdo and outrageous choice of attire was certainly enough to snag the H&M underwear hottie.
Not only has this couple been sharing hugs and kisses going on 16 years now, they are probably one of Hollywood’s hottest wedded couples.
Photogenic fashion model meets incredibly ripped soccer superstar and together the two have spawned four fashionable youngsters. Need I say more about how unfair this arrangement was to the universe?
Freddie Prinze Jr. & Sarah Michelle Gellar
Married Since: 2002 (12 years)
To be honest, if I were to share with you my little black scrapbook of ’90s heartthrobs I’ve had crushes on since before junior high, without a doubt you’d a few pages dedicated to Freddie-boy here.
So with that being said, I seriously am jealous of Sarah for snagging this beautiful hottie. It’s amazing though, 12 years and two children later, and the pair have still been going strong since I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Do you know what I did last summer, Freddie? Spoiler alert: It involved re-watching She’s All That until my tears dried away.
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