Her Side: Resolving Disputes

Arguments happen in all relationships, whether or not they are romantic. But when it comes to dating, there are some things you need to keep in mind when you do get into a fight with your boyfriend.

Is the issue really worth an argument?

Ask yourself that question if you want to confront him about something. Choosing where to eat for dinner that night is not worth a dispute and it is not worth the time or energy, from either of you.

Don’t argue over text messages.

It’s tempting to send your boyfriend a page-long monologue via text, but you should take a moment and think about it.

First off, when it comes to texting, it is hard to tell how he is genuinely feeling without being able to see his body language or hear the tone in his voice. Second, he could just not reply for his own reasons and that might cause more frustration.

Don’t raise your voice to make a point.

I have done this so many times and it has never helped.. Raising your voice in volume will only make things worse, no matter how big or small the issue is.

If you catch yourself doing this, close your eyes and take a deep breath and don’t speak until you have calmed down.

Sit down and talk it out.

Literally, sit down at a table, or on the couch and talk it out. It is only fair to hear his side too, instead of insisting that you are right about it, when you might not be. Think of it as having a discussion, not a debate.

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Keep the past in the past.

When we get mad at someone, it is easy to unintentionally bring up past arguments-even if they have already been resolved.

If you have the urge to say it, just stay silent, until it has subsided. Bringing up the past will only create more of an argument for the present.

If you’re at fault, admit it.

It is sometimes said, by both men and women, that a woman is always right. This is not true. If you did something wrong, take responsibility and apologize for it. Not only will this keep things from escalating, but it will reflect on your own maturity level.

If he’s at fault for something, hear him out.

When it is your boyfriend who made a mistake, our job is to listen to him. Whether he wants to express his feelings or explain his actions, accept his apology and hear him out.

If there is trust in the relationship, there should be no doubt in the sincerity of his apology. Don’t over-think it and don’t get over-emotional.

If the argument lasts, stay away from social media.

A lot of Facebook users use their statuses to vent about every bad thing in their lives. This is a huge no-no, especially in the midst of an argument.

No one needs to know what you and your boyfriend are fighting about; it needs to be kept between the two of you.

Give him some space.

As much as we want everything to go back to being happy after an argument, that is not going to happen. If it was a huge disagreement, both of you will need some space from each other, after it has all been settled. This will give you and him time to recollect your thoughts and to calm down.

Ultimately, reasonable arguments are supposed to only help your relationship with him, make it stronger and healthier. The love you have for each other is more important than winning a dispute.

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