Rachel Says: How to go from Hookups to More


What we have isn’t enough for anyone. It’s not enough to just call each other to come over when we feel like it or to pretend like we’re okay with it. I was content at first, but now I want more. I think we both do. But where do we start?

If I start asking more personal questions about yourself, it means I’m trying to get to know you. I hope you’d do the same with me. If we have the physical stuff down, we already know that we’re attracted to each other. Now we just need to find out if we can actually get along.

When I start dropping hints about not having plans or not knowing what to do for dinner, it means I want you to ask me out. If we’re already hooking up, going out in public and enjoying each other’s company is all that we would need to bring it into a full-circle relationship.

Another thing is that when I start to show interest in meeting your friends and hanging out with them, it’s because I want them to like me. I want you to like that they like me and that I like them. I’ll be nicer to them than I normally am with new people and I’ll be more accommodating to what they say and what they want to do. If they want to watch “The Avengers” for the seventh time in a row, then that’s what we’ll watch. It’s an attempt to assimilate myself into your world. I hope that you’d do the same.

When I offer to help you out with something, it means I genuinely care. I don’t have to help you out with your Bio lab assignment if we’re only hooking up. I want to show you that I’m a girl worthy to keep and I’m going to do that by going out of my way to please you or to make your life easier. I want to make a difference in your life.

Keep in mind that if I’m feeling confident in myself and how I think you feel about me, I might just outright ask you how you feel and if you’ve ever considered taking this to the next level. The truth is, nothing bad can come of asking. You either feel the same way about me and want to start a real relationship, or you don’t. If not, we’d have to either stay as friends-with-benefits, or I would have to move on from you, now knowing what type of guy I’m looking for.

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