As I reach the tail end of my college career, I’m being forced to consider the proposition of entering the real world. With that, comes having to actually enter the job market and find someway to pay off my loans. My choices are to either take any paying job that comes my way or try to achieve my lifelong dream of becoming a writer.
Dream jobs are great because they’re imaginary. You get to see yourself as anything. An astronaut, an opera singer, or a WWE wrestler, but most people don’t get to pursue their dream jobs. If that was true, then everybody who works at the DMV would be happier.
Now is the time to take risks. I’m young and in college; (insert cliche quote about how college is about partying instead of spending all your time in the library here). The thing that always annoyed me about that type of thinking is that I see it on Facebook and on Tumblr. Do you know who doesn’t believe that it’s more important to get your party on? Graduate schools.
But enough of being a Liz Lemon, getting my dream job is scary because it means betting everything on myself. I would have to somehow conjure confidence in the capabilities that I sorely lack. I live with the daily terror that I’m messing things up.
I’m a practical person who sees a steady paycheck as a necessity for life (see: loans). But the naive part of me that I can never seem to shut up is telling me that I’ll always regret never trying. How does that saying go, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”?
How am I suppose to reconcile these two parts of myself? One part of me says that I should get a steady job before applying to a graduate program. But the other part is parroting all those cliches about how, now is the time to make mistakes and be poor and live off dollar pizza and crash on my parents’ couch.
I don’t have any answers. But like the ultimate procrastinator that I am, I’ve put off deciding what I’m going to do. Probably until the night before graduation.
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