How To: Mediate Between Friend Drama


Relationships between friends are always complicated. More often than not, girls communicate through what they don’t say rather than what they do say, and most of what they do say is said to the wrong person. What do you do when you’re the “go to” person and you’re caught in the middle of unnecessary friend drama?

There are a few tips you can follow to keep yourself out of the line of fire and attempt to mediate the situation as a whole.

  1. Don’t overshare. When you have two friends coming to complain to you about each other, don’t tell them what the other person is saying. Your job is to listen and let them vent. No matter how badly you want to take a side, it’s not your place to betray either of their trust.
  2. Urge a peaceful mediation. Girls can be catty and leaving people out and talking about them negatively behind their backs will only make things worse. Try to convince your friends to sit down and talk it out like mature adults rather than spiteful sixth graders. Don’t be too forceful with your suggestion. It’s their decision. You’re just a shoulder to lean on. (And you don’t want to land yourself in a different pile of drama.)
  3. Remove yourself if necessary. Sometimes, you can follow all of the rules, and find that the situation is only getting worse and it’s starting to take a toll on you as the middleman. Don’t be ashamed to tell your friends that you don’t want to be in the middle of it and that you’d prefer that they worked it out themselves.
  4. Find your own ventee. As crazy as it sounds to continue the complain train, if you’re trying to be a good friend and listen to both sides, you might find that you really just need an outlet for your own frustration at them. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone else about your middleman status. Your mom can share their take on this situation or if you have another friend you can talk to just to get it off your chest, go for it. Everyone needs someone to vent to, as you know so well.

At the end of the day, your job is to be honest with your friends. Don’t say anything you don’t mean, but try not to step on too many toes. It’s not your problem and the last thing you want to do is to make it your problem. After all of these tips, if you still take away only one thing from this article, let it be this: just smile and nod.

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