Roselyn’s Rules: Quality vs. Quantity

I looked at the housewarming party invite list and I wondered why I invited so many people. The bulk of the party was comprised of people who I didn’t actually care about. This seems odd because wasting time on the internet and drinking tea by myself are two of my favorite activities. It’s something that drives my roommate crazy as she continually tries to force me to socialize.

So how did I acquire all these “filler friends”? Almost all of them fell into the category of “friends of friends”. Not inviting them would make for an awkward on-campus encounter. So to avoid any discomfort, I invited them to my home despite the fact that I didn’t really like any of them.

This filler friend phenomenon is not just something I deal with when planning parties, for the longest time my Facebook friend count has rested at 666. Of the ominous 666, I regularly speak to and see less than 6% of my supposed “friends.” I arbitrarily picked that number for effect, my social circle is actually way smaller than 36.96 people.

What is the point of having all these extraneous friends? If you don’t really like someone, can you even call them your friend? Obviously, the answer is no. But daily life will cause even a hermit like myself to pick up some dead weight on a news-feed.

Luckily, I’ve always been able to cocoon myself with an inner circle of people I genuinely like and trust. It’s great to know that if I’m ever alone at a party or need help polishing off a bottle of wine, I’ll always have someone on speed dial. That being said, it’s almost impossible to whittle your social circle so that it only consists of people you trust with your deepest darkest secrets.

There are two reasons for this. The first is that most of the time,  you’ll be friends with someone but then after a while, you’ll start drifting apart. It might be because this person is obsessed with “The Hunger Games”, they’ve joined a cult, or maybe you just realized that you don’t have anything in common with them anymore. But since you never had an official falling out, you still see this person at events and you still invite them out because if you didn’t do that, it would cause drama.

Secondly, life is boring if you only hang out with people who love and support you. It’s awesome but boring. For me, the nights that are the most fun are the ones where we all go to a themed party at a random person’s apartment, where we end up having to interact with our filler friends. But we also get to hang out with people we don’t know, or to be seriously optimistic, friends we haven’t made yet.

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