Roselyn’s Rules: The Plan B Guy

Plan B just has an extremely depressing connotation. Add ‘guy’ and that phrase becomes even more pathetic and for some reason, they are becoming more popular that the iPhone or Longchamp bags. Everyone seems to have one, even when they know better.

The idea of a Plan B Guy seems inherently cruel. Here’s a person who likes you a lot and you don’t reciprocate for whatever reason. But you also enjoy being wanted, so your Plan B enters limbo. You get him to do a lot of menial tasks you would ask your boyfriend to do but you simultaneously make sure to keep him at arm’s length. It also doesn’t realize that you’re using him to the point where he doesn’t care if he has to water your plants while you’re on vacation.

Plan B Guys are the ones you meet and never really hit it off with. But for some reason, they keep calling you and no matter how horribly you treat them, they just keep coming back for more. This is the guy who you can call to help you assemble furniture without any more gratitude than a “thank you,” and this isn’t just something that only girls do. Both genders are equal opportunity offenders.

Predictably, these pseudo-relationships often end up causing a lot of “drama.” Something you could have otherwise avoided if you admitted the real reason why you needed a Plan B Guy in the first place. The reason being that you may not want to have a boyfriend but you definitely don’t want to be alone. So the Plan B Guy is there to give you all the attention that a boyfriend would and all you have to do is to lead him on indefinitely. Unfortunately, no guy is going to run your errands for you without getting anything in return forever.

If you made it clear to your Plan B that you would never, ever, ever date him he would obviously stop spending time with you. And by extension, paying you that attention that you crave.

Plan B Guys are great up to a point. It’s great that you’re attractive enough to be able to make other people do stuff for you. That’s an incredibly powerful feeling.  But what’s the point of having half a relationship?  Who cares that you have a chump to pick you up from the airport? Aside from saving you cab fare, it begins to feel hollow after awhile.

All that one-sided attention just makes you more aware that you’re single and not necessarily by choice. Instead of being a symbol of how attractive you are, he starts to become the mascot for your loneliness.

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