Ross & Rachel: How Much Time is Too Much Time?

Ross

I, personally think that not spending enough time with your other half can be just as detrimental to a relationship as spending too much time with your other half. Yes, the “honeymoon” phase is an exception – that’s when it is allowed to spend every waking moment together, but after that, how much time is too much time?

Finishing the end of my sentences was cute at first, but I have to admit, after a while, it kind of gets annoying. What’s worse is when you do it in front of our friends and all I can see is each and every one of them rolling their eyes at us. Maybe I’m more embarrassed – not of you – but of what we’ve become. Before this relationship, I used to hide all the status updates from couples like us on my Facebook but now, anytime I update my status, I always tag you because guess what, we’re always together!

Same goes for you: “Rachel & Ross have checked into Macy’s” or “Rachel & Ross have checked into Starbucks”.  Not everyone needs to know our whereabouts and I bet it would surprise a lot of people – the ones that haven’t unsubscribed from us – if one of us checked into any place without the other. But forget Facebook, it’s obvious that we’re spending too much time together, when all my friends have become just as much your friends as they are mine.

I can’t remember the last time I went to hang out with the guys by myself. I know that sounds pretty harsh, but when was the last time you went and had a girls day out with just Megan and Philipa? I’m pretty sure it’s been awhile. We both have to be grateful though, that our friends have put up with us being an “us” and that we all get on. However, I’m pretty sure everyone’s been happy so far because most of the people in our group of friends are couples.

You know how those middle-aged couples make those “date nights” just so that they could keep the flame alive, or whatever? I think we should have an “un-date night” where we both go off, do separate things and have no communication at all for that one night each week. No texting, no checking in on Facebook and no phone calls. I’m pretty confident that our relationship will only thrive. The next day when we meet, we’ll be able to tell each other what happened the night before and we’ll both have separate activities with our other friends

I think it’s unhealthy when two people become too dependent on each other and I’m as guilty as you are. I know I’m going to find it hard at first, especially the first night, I won’t know what to do without you, but we’ll enjoy each other’s company a lot better the next day!

Rachel

It’s been a few months since we started dating and things couldn’t get any better. We’re still in that lovey-dovey honeymoon phase of the relationship, wanting to spend every second of every day together. If we’re not physically together, then we’re always texting or talking on the phone. So, while this may seem normal, how do we know when we’ve reached the point of spending too much time together?

Let’s be real here, we don’t have to talk all the time. Like the saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder. So, maybe we should back off and relax a little bit. There’s no need to text me when you’re out playing football with your friends, the same way that I don’t need to be texting you when I’m out to lunch with my friends. Just think, if we wait until we see each other later that day or even later that week, we’ll have that much more to talk about in person.

And while obviously I want to see you everyday, we need to realize that this isn’t always going to happen. We both have busy schedules between work, school, etc., as well as friends and family that we need to see and talk to as well.  We can’t forget about them just because we’re in a relationship.

So, when do I need my space? First off, when I’m at the gym, there’s no need for you to be there to witness me being a sweaty mess, and the same goes for you. When I go shopping with my friends, there’s no need for you to always come with us. Sometimes, we just need girl time and plus, they may feel a little weird if you come into Victoria’s Secret with us when they’re shopping.  Or when my roommates and I are having some bonding time in our apartment, we just need to spend some time with just each other. The last thing I want, is for them to get sick of you and start calling you our extra roommate.

And sometimes, I just need some alone time. Time to sit in my room, reading a book or watching a movie, while trying to unwind from a busy day. Let’s face it, we don’t share all of the same interests, so it’s nice just to be able to relax by myself doing the things I enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong, of course I want to spend tons of time with you, but we don’t always need to be attached at the hip. I mean, the last thing we want is a couple nickname, like Brangelina, where everyone starts to see us to be a single entity.

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