To Date or Not to Date: Fraternity Men, That is the Question

We’ve all heard of the stereotypical, albeit sometimes true, generalizations about frat guys: They’re loud, obnoxious, womanizing alcoholics who only care about one thing.

Although it is true that a large percentage of men join fraternities for the parties and better chance of scoring girls, there are some fabulous fraternity men out there. Let’s use the analogy of a needle in a haystack, shall we? If you search long and hard enough, you just might find him!

Coming from someone who has dated them, befriended them and yes, hooked up with them for the last four years, I feel that my knowledge will be extremely valuable to the poor sorority freshman who will believe just about every lie spewing from the mouth of a hot guy in Greek letters.

Of course, telling college women to stay away from these fraternity men would be hypocritical, and just plain boring! So I’m here to tell you when to hang around, and when to take off running.

1) The guy who everyone loves to hate.

He declares himself a “frat star” and likely brags about the number of girls he’s slept with and how many Busch Lights he can shotgun. He’s a fourth generation legacy and he’ll be sure to let everyone know about it. Despite all of this, he still pulls in girls. He doesn’t even have to speak, he just stands there with his bros at every party in his frat tank, and the girls come flocking.

No one understands the phenomenon; yet as the sorority girls watch him in utter disgust, they’re secretly hoping they’ll be the lucky “chosen one”. Just remember, this guy may be hot, hell, he may be Channing Tatum’s look-a-like, but unless you want to become the butt of every joke in next Monday’s chapter meeting… Just Say No!

2) The slightly cocky guy.

Okay, he’s doing keg stands in the corner, but deep down he’s a good guy. He may let the fraternity get the best of him at times, but he’s also very good at staying grounded. He cares more about hanging with his fraternity brothers rather than using every opportunity to get attention from the sorority girls nearby.

It still might take a lot to win over this guy, but once he’s in a relationship, he’s usually dedicated (and I DO mean usually… he is still a frat boy after all). The only time I would recommend pursuing this guy is late into his junior or senior year.

Hopefully by that point he’ll be partying a lot less and sick of hooking up with randos. If you’re lucky, you just might be there to sweep him off his Sperry-clad feet.

3) The shy & quiet guy.

You may even wonder how he wound up in a fraternity. He’s seen as the “nice guy” and is relentlessly made fun of because of it. Although his frat bros don’t understand why he doesn’t black out every weekend, they’re grateful to have someone to confide in when they want to be serious.

He joined the fraternity for scholarship, friendship and philanthropic service, and he stayed for the unlimited beer. This guy is often overlooked by girls who are busy chasing after frat boy #1, but once they actually give the nice guy a chance, they’ll fall in love… okay, college love. But be careful, because he’s the type of guy who cares if you’ve hooked up with one of his fraternity bros!

So now you’ve heard it; don’t be naïve! Most likely, if a guy is talking to you it generally means one of two things… he wants to date you or he wants to sleep with you. Frat guys don’t want to be your “friend”.  They have enough friends and they’re called his frat brothers.

I have found that you can gain the friendship of a fraternity guy if, and only if, he is dating your best friend, you have already hooked up with him or you are friends from high school. And even under these circumstances, he still thinks there’s a glimmer of hope that’ll you’ll sleep with him, trust me.

No offense, but don’t ever expect to be the exception. If a guy is spending time with you, find out what he really wants. After a few nights of hanging out with him, I guarantee you’ll know. Be smart, be classy and always remember there are some great fraternity men out there, so don’t settle for anything but the best!

About Hailey Hinkle (2 Articles)
Recent graduate of Washington State University with a degree in communication - magazine journalism. Lover of all things sugar, strong coffee, satirical writing, and rainy days. My ultimate goal is to become a magazine columnist and the wife to a very attractive, successful man.

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